– Wake & Funeral Details –

Location of Final Resting Place

To be advised.

Eulogy of My Late-Grandfather,
Tan Cheng Khuan on 25 January 2016

Good afternoon.

Thank you for coming today despite being a weekday. Your presence today tells us that you have played a part in my grandpa’s 92 years and my grandpa has also played a part in your life. On behalf of the deceased family and my grandpa, thank you for coming.

Over the last 5 days, I was busy preparing for the wake and ensuring that every area of the wake is see to. Like my grandma’s wake 2 1/2 years ago, I was also asked to share the final eulogy on the cremation day. So today everyone i met were asking me what will I be sharing. I spent the whole morning trying to pen down my thoughts on this A4 paper and Guess what? The result was still a blank piece of paper. Many of you know me as a motivation speaker and speaking will always be in my blood. But this is not true when it comes to giving my final eulogy for my grandpa, it was challenging not because I have nothing to say but is because there were too much say. 92 years of living on earth shared in planned 15 minutes doesn’t do justice to grandpa. So later I will share with you my fond memories of grandpa and the people who played a significant role in his life. So before I continue, I thought it is important to thank God for bringing every single one of you here today. Thank God for grandpa’s salvation and as a result we mourn for the loss but we also celebrate that grandpa is now in heaven with grandma. The first song I have chosen is “You are my All in All” and in Chinese “你是我的一切”. Why this song?

Most of us know that grandpa passed away in his sleep on Thursday night. But not many people know how and what happened prior to his passing. So let me share with you.

15 minutes before his passing, he was having a conversation with my aunt that he decided to quit smoking that night. And my aunt was telling him quitting smoking takes time and he cannot just quit. But my grandpa assure the family, tonight will be the night so he threw away all his cigarettes and line up his lighters in order. Cleared his bowel and urine and tidied up his room. Everyone who knows my Grandfather would know that he usually sleep with his singlet and shorts. That night, he wore a long sleeves shirt and (still) with shorts to sleep. When i received the call from my relative that grandpa has passed away in his sleep, I rushed over to his place and witnessed something you can never imagine. Everyone who were there can testify grandpa’s peaceful sleep. He slept with a beautiful smile, a smile that told us that he has departed peacefully.

2 weeks prior to his passing, my parents brought him to All Saints Memorial at Poh Huat Road as he wanted to visit my grandma’s resting place. When he arrived, he asked my Mother if this is also the place to store his ashes when he is gone. He was pleased and smiling.

6 weeks ago, my youngest auntie wanted to take passport size photo and grandpa was excited to wear his coat and tie to take a portrait photo. He chose the photo he wanted to be placed if he were to move on. He smiled after taking the photo. Today in front of you is the photo taken then. Look at his hair. Tell me who (at his 90s) you know has so much black hair like my grandpa? This photo was chosen by grandpa for today’s wake.

That night grandpa knew that he do not need anymore nicotine anymore. He wasn’t afraid of death because he knows that day will come and he will be in heaven because of his salvation in Christ. Grandpa indeed recognise that God is his all in all. So let’s sing this song in both Chinese and English.

你是我依靠的力量, 你是我尋求的寶藏
你是我的一切。
你好比貴重的珠寶, 我怎能放棄你不要
你是我的一切。

耶穌神羔羊，
配得大讚美. X2

擔當我罪債和羞辱，死裡復活我蒙救贖
你是我的一切。
當我跌倒你扶持我，當我乾渴你充滿我，
你是我的一切。

耶穌神羔羊，
配得大讚美. X2

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I’d be a fool
You are my all in all
(Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name) x2

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all
(Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name) x2

The next song I have chosen “Because He lives” / 因他活着 is a song to remind us the purpose of Christ and the gift of life after death. Right in front of us is a body. It is the empty shell of grandpa because his soul are already in heaven watching over us. 21st Jan is the end of his physical life but it is also the beginning of eternal. Grandpa is now enjoying the goodness of heaven in heaven and we should be joyful and celebrate his new life and identity in heaven. So let’s sing in Chinese then English.

神差愛子，人稱祂耶穌，祂賜下愛，醫治寬恕死裡復活，使我得自由，那空墳墓就是我得救的記號。

因祂活著，我能面對明天，因祂活著，不再懼怕，我深知道，祂掌管明天，生命充滿了希望，只因祂活著。

God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

Thank you for worshiping. Let me continue by asking everyone you present here what’s my grandpa Chinese name? Yes, Tan Cheng Khuan! I did a research on the name and indeed his name reflects on the true character of my Grandfather. Cheng means clean and not corrupted and Khuan means someone honourable and is a reputable official in Chinese.

My grandpa was a man who is honest and a man of integrity. He can be seen to others as someone “happy go lucky”, relaxing and chill but he is also a man that is humorous, honest and humble. I remember grandpa changed my English name. He never call me by my Chinese name. My name is Delane so he change the pronunciation to Ki Leng.

I know the passing of grandpa came to sudden for many. Some of us have something to tell him, something to go for him. And for some you may have quarrelled with him or upset him. I would like to give you some time to talk to grandpa in your heart. So let’s take this moment to reflect. Don’t reproach yourself for not doing what you need to do or say what you need to say because grandpa is gracious and forgiving. He will not, will not blame you.

His last smile on the bed on 21 Jan 2016 was a testament of his peaceful departure with no more baggages and worries, a reminder for us to move on and stay strong and united as a family. He became Christian and baptised on 10 September 2015 at Tan Tock Seng Hospital in the presence of our late-grandma who was ICU.

8 children, 11 Grand Children and 4 great grand children in 92 years. Don’t you think he is happy and peaceful now? Let’s give grandpa a round of applause.

During the years when he was still alive, there were many people that took care of him and played significant roles. GrandpaHis role as a Father, Grandfather and Great Grandfather over the last 92 years has also make great impact to the Tan Family. If today grandpa is still alive I believe he wants to thank every one here. So on behalf of my Grandfather, let me take this opportunity to thank the following people. So when I call your name, can I have the family to rise so that we acknowledge who you are.

1) His eldest Daughter (my Da Yi) and family had always taken care of my grandpa and bring him out to eat his Favourite food and bring him to places like East Coast park and Changi. Every fortnight without fail. I happen to see my grandpa’s calendar indicating a Chinese “Soon” on the date 24/1/16 which was yesterday. That was the date he was suppose to eat with my Da Yi Family. Thank you Da Yi family for taking care of Grandpa.

2) 2nd Eldest Daughter (ah jin ah Yi) and family. My grandpa is thankful and blessed to have not just granddaughters but great grandchildren. This family produces the most grandchildren. Thank you for making his wish come true – having a chance to carry his 3 great grand children.

3) 3rd Daughter (my Mother) and family for always bringing grandpa whenever he wants and supporting him financially. They never fail to not bring my grandpa out to make his Favourite food. Every week my mum will visit him to make sure he is okay.

4) 4th Daughter (Ah Kiang Ah Yi) and family. Despite her leg injury, she never fail to not take care and visit my grandpa.

5) Youngest Daughter (Ah Hai Ah Yi) and family for supporting him financially too. Even though they always quarrel over little things, she loved my grandpa deeply. Grandpa is proud of her, her husband and Daughter.

And finally,

6) His youngest son and child (Ah Koon) and family for providing grandpa his fondest memories in Ang Mo Kio where he stayed.

And to the rest of you, thank you for coming and pay your last respect for him.

If today grandpa has a message for you, what do you think he will tell for? I think he will tell you this, “I have moved on, moved to a better place called heaven. So as for my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, I pray that you will also move on and not to be sad about my passing but instead celebrate with joy because I am with God and reunited with grandma. So when we leave Mandai, just remember me”

Signing off, Your grandson.

P/S: The eulogy message above is written as accurate as what it was shared on 25 Jan 2016.